anything can be sick
By emphasizing the right words, making the right sounds, add in a little help from the "air quotes", anything can sound sick. It's a lost art but it's kick-ass fun! Selfish as I may be, I'm pretty damn generous when it comes to the spread of information! It's free! What have I got to lose?
I'll start by explaining the syntax of this tutorial on how to make anything sound suggestive and sick.
I will start off by writing the original sentence. I will then write the same sentence with some words in italic, sometimes encase some words with "quotes" and sometimes extending certain words. I will end it off with an explaination, some people are that fucking slow.
:: this is where I saved as a draft. I completed the fucking long kick-ass post, as you'll come to know after you read it, it got lost because blogger FUCKED UP!! BIG TIME!! KNNBCCB!!!::
The words in italic will be those that needs to be emphasized. Words that need to be furthur emphasized will be bold. The "quotes" are cues for you to execute the air quotes which I will furthur explain shortly. The extended words will be read like any normal english word.
Now to explain the air quotes. I'm sure you've seen at least one of the Austin Powers movies, if not you do not belong here so just fuck off, and in it, Dr Evil will always do the air quote when saying certain words. Still don't get it? Ok here's how it's done. Start off with the victory sign( the gay V thingy with your fore and middle finger) on both hands. When saying the word that needs to be air quoted, bend your fore and middle fingers twice on both hands. Make sure your hands are in line for maximum effect. Get it yet?! If no, fuck off.
To ensure that the sentences I'll use as examples are random, I'll use the blogger bar at the top of the page. I'll use the first sentence in the 3rd post of any ENGLISH blog that appears when i click on "Next Blog". Simple, random, no cheating. Here goes.
Eg. 1:
Url: http://memselect.blogspot.com/
Original:
There's been this guy walking just ahead of us for a while, and I take notice because he's walking at pretty much the same speedy pace we move at.
Overclocked!!
There's been this guy "walking" just ahead of us for a while, and I take notice because he's "walking" at pretty much the same speedy pace we move at.
Explaination:
Emphasis on the guy brings the listener to the attention that the subject is a male doing something. Air quoting walking suggests that the guy is doing anything other than walking and this thing he's doing is not something normal people openly discuss. Emphasis on notice suggests that the guy is doing something special and has had the attention of the speaker for a while already. Emphasis on same speedy pace suggests that the speaker is also engaging in the same activity as the guy and said activity is one that is repetitive to a certain extent. We later know that the speaker is not doing the activity alone but with someone else.
Eg. 2:
Url: http://mrnizz.blogspot.com/
Original:
This is an oldie but a goodie.. I've seen a version of this code from the old VAX days.
Overclocked!!
This is an oldie but a gooodie.. I've seen a version of this "code" from the old VAX days.
Explaination:
Emphasis on oldie and goodie suggests that the subject is a person or object of significant age but is still working pretty damn fine contrary to popular belief. Now what exactly are old people not good at? A long list eh? SEX!! Emphasis on seen and the air quoting of code almost certainly determines that the said subject is an object of age that still functions well. Said object is also one which got a name that many will find uncomfortable saying. Dick damnit! DICK! It also suggests that the speaker encountered the object before some time in his past which he is very much proud of. So here, the speaker is speaking of an old man's package which he finds is still working well, and that it reminds him of another old man's package he encountered some time in his glorious past. SICK BASTARD!!!
Eg. 3:
Url:http://larryplayground.blogspot.com/
Original:
well here i am...trying to blog...but my mouse spoilt and i also not in that mood to blog....
Overclocked!!
well here i am...trying to "blog"...but my "mouse" spoilt and i also not in that mood to "blog"....
Explaination:
Emphasis on trying suggests that the speaker is doing something that he's done before but is unable to do now. Air quoting blog suggests that whatever the speaker is doing is sick enough that an alternate name needs to be used to replace the original name of the act. Air quoting mouse suggests that the mouse is not a real mouse but is actually refering to something else. Emphasis on 'not in that mood' with suggests that the speaker is doing something that requires one to be in the mood. The extra emphasis on that is simply because that is such an ambiguous word when used in any context that it's perfect to be suggestive! So basically, the speaker here is trying to do something forbidden in a sense but is having difficulty because his device in need is not functional and he is also not in the mood for it. hmm....
Eg. 4:
Url: http://are3906.blogspot.com/
Original:
to their homes on the craps tables and the Casinos the battle to legalize gambling; last year, despite extravagant marketing campaigns launched by casino interests (they spent $16.5 million in Florida), every state that voted on the issue Casino lavishly funded gambling industry.
I can't do it! It's too fucking hard! This proves that some things are just so boring that no matter how much thought or work you put into it, it will NEVER EVER become more interesting! EVER!
I'll start by explaining the syntax of this tutorial on how to make anything sound suggestive and sick.
I will start off by writing the original sentence. I will then write the same sentence with some words in italic, sometimes encase some words with "quotes" and sometimes extending certain words. I will end it off with an explaination, some people are that fucking slow.
:: this is where I saved as a draft. I completed the fucking long kick-ass post, as you'll come to know after you read it, it got lost because blogger FUCKED UP!! BIG TIME!! KNNBCCB!!!::
The words in italic will be those that needs to be emphasized. Words that need to be furthur emphasized will be bold. The "quotes" are cues for you to execute the air quotes which I will furthur explain shortly. The extended words will be read like any normal english word.
Now to explain the air quotes. I'm sure you've seen at least one of the Austin Powers movies, if not you do not belong here so just fuck off, and in it, Dr Evil will always do the air quote when saying certain words. Still don't get it? Ok here's how it's done. Start off with the victory sign( the gay V thingy with your fore and middle finger) on both hands. When saying the word that needs to be air quoted, bend your fore and middle fingers twice on both hands. Make sure your hands are in line for maximum effect. Get it yet?! If no, fuck off.
To ensure that the sentences I'll use as examples are random, I'll use the blogger bar at the top of the page. I'll use the first sentence in the 3rd post of any ENGLISH blog that appears when i click on "Next Blog". Simple, random, no cheating. Here goes.
Eg. 1:
Url: http://memselect.blogspot.com/
Original:
There's been this guy walking just ahead of us for a while, and I take notice because he's walking at pretty much the same speedy pace we move at.
Overclocked!!
There's been this guy "walking" just ahead of us for a while, and I take notice because he's "walking" at pretty much the same speedy pace we move at.
Explaination:
Emphasis on the guy brings the listener to the attention that the subject is a male doing something. Air quoting walking suggests that the guy is doing anything other than walking and this thing he's doing is not something normal people openly discuss. Emphasis on notice suggests that the guy is doing something special and has had the attention of the speaker for a while already. Emphasis on same speedy pace suggests that the speaker is also engaging in the same activity as the guy and said activity is one that is repetitive to a certain extent. We later know that the speaker is not doing the activity alone but with someone else.
Eg. 2:
Url: http://mrnizz.blogspot.com/
Original:
This is an oldie but a goodie.. I've seen a version of this code from the old VAX days.
Overclocked!!
This is an oldie but a gooodie.. I've seen a version of this "code" from the old VAX days.
Explaination:
Emphasis on oldie and goodie suggests that the subject is a person or object of significant age but is still working pretty damn fine contrary to popular belief. Now what exactly are old people not good at? A long list eh? SEX!! Emphasis on seen and the air quoting of code almost certainly determines that the said subject is an object of age that still functions well. Said object is also one which got a name that many will find uncomfortable saying. Dick damnit! DICK! It also suggests that the speaker encountered the object before some time in his past which he is very much proud of. So here, the speaker is speaking of an old man's package which he finds is still working well, and that it reminds him of another old man's package he encountered some time in his glorious past. SICK BASTARD!!!
Eg. 3:
Url:http://larryplayground.blogspot.com/
Original:
well here i am...trying to blog...but my mouse spoilt and i also not in that mood to blog....
Overclocked!!
well here i am...trying to "blog"...but my "mouse" spoilt and i also not in that mood to "blog"....
Explaination:
Emphasis on trying suggests that the speaker is doing something that he's done before but is unable to do now. Air quoting blog suggests that whatever the speaker is doing is sick enough that an alternate name needs to be used to replace the original name of the act. Air quoting mouse suggests that the mouse is not a real mouse but is actually refering to something else. Emphasis on 'not in that mood' with suggests that the speaker is doing something that requires one to be in the mood. The extra emphasis on that is simply because that is such an ambiguous word when used in any context that it's perfect to be suggestive! So basically, the speaker here is trying to do something forbidden in a sense but is having difficulty because his device in need is not functional and he is also not in the mood for it. hmm....
Eg. 4:
Url: http://are3906.blogspot.com/
Original:
to their homes on the craps tables and the Casinos the battle to legalize gambling; last year, despite extravagant marketing campaigns launched by casino interests (they spent $16.5 million in Florida), every state that voted on the issue Casino lavishly funded gambling industry.
I can't do it! It's too fucking hard! This proves that some things are just so boring that no matter how much thought or work you put into it, it will NEVER EVER become more interesting! EVER!
BY Neo :: 11:31 PM
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