numbers

Experiencing some server problems with ickystuff, linhosting had better get it fixed before I put a lance through their heads.

My headache is killing me. I reckon that if someone were to drill a hole in my skull, brain juices would start squirting out, easing the pressure(cause of the pain) that's building up in my head. If not I'd be satisfied if someone would just pass me a knife so I get to stab a certain someone that's been annoying the shit out of me. The adrenaline would probably ease the pain for a short while so I figured that if I keep stabbing, non-stop, the pain would go away.

The next time some desperate dipshit ask me for the phone number of some girl they know I know but they themselves don't know, I'd make them dance the dance with the launcher in my hand and my stash of poison tipped harpoons, each leathal enough to kill a blue whale. You probably still wouldn't be able to survive even if you have a dick the size of a bus and the metabolic rate of a rock.

Ickystuff

Ickystuff.net is now official.
That means I'll be posting rubbish there.
It also means this place is now a void, a piece of what I call history.
But all is not lost. negoki.ickystuff.net
Yes I know it's not the best of skins and it's not even remotely close to what I am but hey, it's what I call a default template downloaded from the wordpress website.

Will do a custom skin soon but then again maybe I'll never get to doing it much like all those times I say I'll probably CG some of my works.

Rolling Bomber Special

A short film making fun of the power rangers genre.
Must see! Damn funny.

Download (13.1 MB)

loop holes

5 years in the making and the story of MessiahZ is pretty much shit. Even I can't remember a bulk of what was previously discussed as far as the story is concerned. There's no fixed setting and the background story is virtually non-existent. I thought that everything would come naturally the moment I start drawing but no it doesn’t, not if I want it to make sense. So after some thought I’ve decided to revamp the story into something more than what a 15 year old can conceive, that’s how old I was when I though of it.

The original MessiahZ was named such in reference to the Christian faith, many of the associations should be considered blasphemy but at that time, it’s just cool. Because it was largely character oriented, a bulk of the story was thought up of in order to piece and relate the characters and in the process, there’s this huge mess. Now that I know more about shit and stuff, some things just didn’t make sense.

Imagine a world in the near future in some ways very much like ours but without religion. The advancement in the various fields of technology and medicine are nothing like we can imagine. In this world, everyone lives in comfort without the need for any manual labour, those are taken care of by machines. Everyone is an intellect and everyone works in their various fields for the advancement of man kind. With all human resources devoted to research and development, the growth of technology is exponential.

Religion is now history, categorized under myths and legends in the history textbooks used by the youths. With more awareness, people have come to recognize that religion is nothing more that mythology and stories told by our ancestors as a convenient answer to questions they couldn’t yet explain.

However this façade of a picture perfect world hides a reality none of those living in comfort would ever want to know of. As humans, we can never stray from politics, from power. The struggle for control, for dominance still exists. It would be arrogant to think that peace did not come with a price; we are after all only human. The battle between good and evil, light and dark, did not stop with the absence of religion, cliché as it sounds.

The “Noah’s Journal” was kept safely by Metatron, however the prophecy within was duplicated when it was in Airlantian custody. Encoded into a crystal, the information remained fossilized within the ruins of Airlantian until an archeological expedition uncovered it. It took many years before the information was successfully read and even then, it took even longer before the information was translated into that we are able to understand. It foretold everything up until the birth of the MessiahZ. It spoke of the powers the MessiahZ and the angels wield and that struck fear in the existing powers. And the search begins. The search to protect and the hunt to annihilate.


Any injury can be healed without any visible traces but there is a limit to the number of times it can be done. What happens is that cells are rapidly multiplied artificially in the healing process so even when all injuries can be healed, humans are still unable to attain immortality. As written in “Noah’s Journal”, the MessiahZ and the angels are perfect entities. In this case untouched by modern medicine. Because their powers only awaken when they are 15, anyone without a medical history then automatically become targeted and are subjected to investigation. To make this search even easier, a injury prone activity was introduced to the masses. NEGAV, a chimera of various activities.

I hope the above plug some of the loop holes I left in the story of MessiahZ, linking bits of it and making sense of it.

PS. I want the Sousei no Aquarion Chogokin by BANDAI. Too bad it's still damn damn damn expensive. I just hope it gets reissued in june next year.

macross shopping spree

Spending money like a mad man. Think $471.20 in 4 days. On only MACROSS and nothing but MACROSS.

YAMATO 1/48 VF-1A Mass Production Type - $150
YAMATO 1/48 Strike Pack - $80
YAMATO 1/48 VF-1S FOCKER - $185
3 X BANPRESTO Perfect Transformation Valkyrie + Shipping - $56.20

I haven't actually paid for the Strike pack and the VF-1S yet but I've got to factor those in too. I'm crazy I know but this is how things are supposed to be all along. I should work to buy toys and only to buy toys! It's perfect! I may not have enough space to house all of them in the near future but that can wait. Now I just want to buy so many macross so bad.

Coming soon in April 2006.
YAMATO 1/60 VF-0S MACROSS ZERO FOCKER - 16800 YEN.

God damn it I can't wait.

reality

I've been saying quite a bit of bullshit lately, rather what you will recognise as bullshit or maybe even what you think I said as bullshit. Reality is a composite of our senses, we see reality as it is because we can feel it hence it's real. But how can we be sure? How many times when dreaming can you actually tell that you're in a dream? Whatever we feel so called is nothing but an interpretation of our minds of the sensory input from our various organs, or so it seems.

My question is how can we be sure that everything we see is in fact what it really is and not what we actually want it to be? The human desire is something I can never comprehend. The need for more in everything and the emmotions it invoke in us. But is that the limit of what desire can achieve? The ability to create, to think out of the box so called, is one that's not unique to humans but it's us humans that put it to use the most. With a so called endless ability to imagine, how much of our imagination is imagination and how much of it is crossing over to what we call reality?

Is this what you want? We can only see the world through our own eyes no matter how "understanding" you might believe yourself to be. We can only truely know what we think no matter how "understanding" you might believe yourself to be. When you think you understand someone else, you can only imagine what it's like but not actually know what it's like. If words and imagination alone is enough to create and allow you to "feel" what it's like to be another or what another feels, is that true understanding? How can you be sure? Is existence of other entities a fact or is it just a fragment of your imagination? What if the world you see is an environment you created for yourself and that everything you experience is orchestrated by your brain?

Just an example of the kind of bullshit I've been telling people. I'm that bored, with that much time on my hands, to think that much about nothing. Or so that's what I think. Because of our ability to remember, we differentiate between past and present. The passing of time is an illusion, time pass because we pass. The progression we feel, the inability to undo things, to go back and redo things, is what creates the illusion we call time.

queasy

It's the much hated BMTC passing out parade yet again. Everything about BMT sucks, I can't think of one reason that doesn't make it suck. It's existence in itself is wrong. BMT is only the beginning of 2 years of shit to come, sucks. It in itself is filled, and I mean to the brim, with phoney assholes trying way too hard to stand out, sucks. I'll help you there, remember that fork you use when you have your meals, stab yourself. A million times. The best justification of how much BMT sucks is the passing out parade itself. The only reason everyone is so glad about it is that they can leave that shit hole, most of them have no idea what they got themselves into, more shit.

The parade is a show, a very bad, very phony one at that. Imagine a whole bunch of guys wearing helmets, really thick uniformm, a really ugly green vest with lots of pockets filled with nothing(SBO), and holding a rifle being herded, yes HERDED like cattle, into an open space known also as the parade square, it's rectangular, all this while sweating like there's no tomorrow and stinking up the air. Yes I know I was one of them, I only felt like shit then but now I know I stank too. If I was there at my POP, watching, I'd hate myself too.

If there was anything more ridiculous than wearing all that fuck shit and standing in the damn sun in the middle of the day, it's that "dance" just before they toss their caps, moments after it was put on, and then picking it up again almost immediately. 3 months of training and what's presented is a well choreographed, syncopated, dance of sorts with well penned lyrics in a foreign tongue sung by substandard vocals. Or so that's what I thought. It was not supposed to be syncopated, and it most definitely wasn't in a foreign tongue. It's simply a mix of hideous enunciation by psychomotor reluctant people forced into pretending to be enjoying themselves. Thank god I didn't have to do that, I'd kill myself. It would've been a milestone in my entire existence, the new low, the stupidest moment in my life, one which I'll block out of my memory and if I had the power to undo one thing after death, I'd rather undo that over my death.

Not to forget that queasy feeling you get when taking the not very fast fast craft there. I still feel nausea, like I'm being thrown about in the back of Ben's car at that vomit inducing double bend downhill. To think that I'll have to go through all that again tomorrow for a bunch of people I don't know is simply fucked up. What's worst is that I'm paid the same as someone that spends the entire day in the office doing "work". Pui.