what's with the tray of puke

The exact words I said when I first saw the above mentioned image on xian's msn buddy icon.
It's a gigantic cookie!! Denial. I'd rather drive a van with a spoiler off a cliff than to even take a bite out of that vile looking mix of concentrated HCL, enzymes, and what hideous substances anyone can possibly find in that cantankerous tray of questionable pale brown paste like "thing" with lumps.

Just another example of the kind of stuff said between me and Weng in camp, not that it's in any way inaccurate or inconsistent with what I have in mind. A tray of puke is a tray of puke, lumpy or not, in a tray or not, said to be a cookie or not. We should really start a group blog or site or something It. Will. Kick. Ass. Imagine a portal, I see it now, Negoki Productions meets Room 9. Imagine the content, all original and written with a certain flare, the kind the kicks you in the gut and then makes you go why didn't I think of that, followed by LOL, Keith version (lots of laughts) and then LOL, usual version (laugh out loud) and finally where did they find the time, energy and creative impluses to say such shit. Just when you think that's where the fun stops, you get overwhelmed with the various different forms of media ranging from original compositions by Threep, right?, art by me, weird photos and even weirder looking photo manips. Not to forget the icky stuff section where you find stuff like the tray of puke or Thomomus caught with a bag full of cancer causing sticks of death grouped in packets and transfered across borders by the loop hole called not everyone is a smoker.

Speaking of which somehow reminds me of something I said on one of those early mornings with a deployment that is totally unnecessary but scheduled anyway. I was on the bus and Benedict was reading the new men's magazine, SNAG or something. I think they left out the IM at the end since it should be SNAGIM, Stupid Neurotic Apprehensive Gag Inducing Material. It's as if the market is not already saturated with various picture books, since my Primary 1 textbook probably contains more reading material, with similar content and an exponential drop in quality with the introduction of each new series. There are only that many pretty girls in the world, an even smaller number here in Singapore, RATIO! do the math shithead!. Not enough to go around with that many magazines being published on a monthly basis. So they fill the pages with ads, other gobbledygook and what not. Then there are those girls that make you wonder what exactly is it about them worthy to be published. They're not common but they do exist and are somehow published rendering the mag a GIM, Gag Inducing Material. Which brings me back to that fateful morning where one casual sentence said without much thought became my quote of the day.

If she looks like that in a photoshoot, she probably looks like fuck in real life.

If I must, here's my explaination. A photoshoot is designed, lighting clothes and all, to make someone look good. If you look bad in a professionally done photoshoot for a magazine, it tells, in fact it screams bloody murder, about how you look. You can argue that it might be the photographer's fault but if it's a photographer for a magazine, chances are, pretty high, that he's good enough. I used the word probably since, though slim, the possibility that factors other than the girl itself is to blame for a shitty looking gag inducing shot, like snort or a tray of puke.