the sinner's prayer
I should probably have written this before my previous entry but nobody really cares. I was told to go for this particular service by none other than the City Harvest Church because of a particular guest appearing there for an annual event. What's the name of that guy again? Mike something... Cornell! Yes, Mike Cornell. Got that from my msn log of xian. I was told it'll be really cool and scary, yes I know those 2 don't exactly come together but I really really do not give a shit.
So I went with Kenneth and Zong~Zong. And they wanted to go down to the front of the stage from our seats to be delivered. Don't expect me to be left behind with a whole bunch of screaming jumping praying people so of course I followed them. It's a mess I tell you, people are falling, as in collapse! boom! right there at my feet. It triggered quite a number of what the fucks, yes yes I'm in the house of God yada yada yada no shit who cares, people are stepping on my toes and that really pisses me off. So I stood there and by now Kenneth and Zong~Zong are somewhere in the crowd of eager packages, waiting to be delivered, ok that's really lame. Then I spotted Kenneth lying on the ground amoungst people, girls, looking very much in pain and his pants are half way down his ass rendering his boxers exposed, checkered and all. I went over and nudged him awake and asked what the hell happened and he responded with his usual it's-like-I'm-hit-by-a-truck routine, no surprise there. So he led me to try it out, and that I did.
So I stood there with my eyes close, as I'm supposed to, and then this guy reaches over and puts on hand on the area just under my breastbone, not quite the stomach yet, and started praying very very close to my ear, probably because it's so noisy there I really really can't hear shit if you don't shout. So I waited and listened to every word, nothing happened. I remain standing, no surprise there too.
So I waited and after a while this Chinese guy came over and asked me what I wanted him to pray for me for. To which I replied, jus praying in general. No in general he says and went on to elaborate with a few questions of whether I worship any idols at home or whatever which I thought I’m a free thinker without a religion what the fuck? So I replied that I don’t have any of such idols at home and he went on with are you Christian. No. Do you want to invite Jesus into your heart? Understand that at that moment I’m standing there pretty much alone with this guy with people falling down all around me and I thought what the hell, erm… ok. With that he led me to one side, and the first thing that struck me was what the fuck did I do this time and what have I gotten myself into? I thought that he’ll lead me to a room with that fabled brain-washing device but no. We stood at the side of the stage and he said this, repeat after me. And so I did. It was really noisy and I really couldn’t hear some of his words clearly so I made up what fits to fill the gap, nothing major just a few words here and there.
So after the deed is done. He called out to this guy and told me he’s a cell group leader, no shit! I’m in it deep now! Lucky for me, Kenneth was there and he bailed me out by saying that he’ll lead me to his cell group leader, who obviously doesn’t exist since he’s not from CHC anymore. I’m really thankful for that and I’m really glad I didn’t get any weird calls.
So there you have it, I didn’t know what I said until I was told by Kenneth later that it’s the sinner’s prayer. He also pointed out that the guy that prayed for, with, me is Pastor Tan, second in command of CHC or something like that and it’s supposed to be damn cool. That’s it, I’m now a “brother” in Kenneth’s words but seriously, I don’t think it means anything unless I know what exactly I’m saying before I actually say it.
I’m the only prophet here so don’t go thinking you’re right or whatever and conclude that you’re right for thinking that I’ll be Christian eventually. Xian you are still type 2.
So I went with Kenneth and Zong~Zong. And they wanted to go down to the front of the stage from our seats to be delivered. Don't expect me to be left behind with a whole bunch of screaming jumping praying people so of course I followed them. It's a mess I tell you, people are falling, as in collapse! boom! right there at my feet. It triggered quite a number of what the fucks, yes yes I'm in the house of God yada yada yada no shit who cares, people are stepping on my toes and that really pisses me off. So I stood there and by now Kenneth and Zong~Zong are somewhere in the crowd of eager packages, waiting to be delivered, ok that's really lame. Then I spotted Kenneth lying on the ground amoungst people, girls, looking very much in pain and his pants are half way down his ass rendering his boxers exposed, checkered and all. I went over and nudged him awake and asked what the hell happened and he responded with his usual it's-like-I'm-hit-by-a-truck routine, no surprise there. So he led me to try it out, and that I did.
So I stood there with my eyes close, as I'm supposed to, and then this guy reaches over and puts on hand on the area just under my breastbone, not quite the stomach yet, and started praying very very close to my ear, probably because it's so noisy there I really really can't hear shit if you don't shout. So I waited and listened to every word, nothing happened. I remain standing, no surprise there too.
So I waited and after a while this Chinese guy came over and asked me what I wanted him to pray for me for. To which I replied, jus praying in general. No in general he says and went on to elaborate with a few questions of whether I worship any idols at home or whatever which I thought I’m a free thinker without a religion what the fuck? So I replied that I don’t have any of such idols at home and he went on with are you Christian. No. Do you want to invite Jesus into your heart? Understand that at that moment I’m standing there pretty much alone with this guy with people falling down all around me and I thought what the hell, erm… ok. With that he led me to one side, and the first thing that struck me was what the fuck did I do this time and what have I gotten myself into? I thought that he’ll lead me to a room with that fabled brain-washing device but no. We stood at the side of the stage and he said this, repeat after me. And so I did. It was really noisy and I really couldn’t hear some of his words clearly so I made up what fits to fill the gap, nothing major just a few words here and there.
So after the deed is done. He called out to this guy and told me he’s a cell group leader, no shit! I’m in it deep now! Lucky for me, Kenneth was there and he bailed me out by saying that he’ll lead me to his cell group leader, who obviously doesn’t exist since he’s not from CHC anymore. I’m really thankful for that and I’m really glad I didn’t get any weird calls.
So there you have it, I didn’t know what I said until I was told by Kenneth later that it’s the sinner’s prayer. He also pointed out that the guy that prayed for, with, me is Pastor Tan, second in command of CHC or something like that and it’s supposed to be damn cool. That’s it, I’m now a “brother” in Kenneth’s words but seriously, I don’t think it means anything unless I know what exactly I’m saying before I actually say it.
I’m the only prophet here so don’t go thinking you’re right or whatever and conclude that you’re right for thinking that I’ll be Christian eventually. Xian you are still type 2.
BY Neo :: 9:09 PM
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