Fantastic 4

Farn-tars-tic four, as the brits will say, great movie. It's not prefect, some of the jokes are a tat too cheesy, which is not good for diarrea diarrhoea according to the amazing caves, but it's a fine movie on the whole.

You know I watch too much Discovery Channel when I know the answer to every damn "Chemistry 101" question raised in the movie.

Everyone's got stuff you don't talk to them about, like peace with George Bush, bloggers with Maddox, breasts with the amazing caves, moles with fontane, chin lee with kenneth, etc.

For me, it falls cleaning cleanly into 2 categories, according to kenneth.
Band stuff, tech. & comp. stuff. Simply because I don't know when to stop. I'll 1 up the list with God. You don't talk to me about God because of stuff like this.

Stepping out of the car, I look up to be greeted by a gigantic neon-edge crucifix, obviously unlit in the middle of the afternoon, followed by a door marked by the words "Victory Family Centre". Yes it's not a dream, as much as I wanted it to be, I was standing on Christian premise, otherwise known as holy ground. My presence there was not without reason or rhyme, I was cornered on all sides and bounded by a bond made not by me. Thankfully, I'm not sure if this is anymore accurate than Nostradamus' armageddon prediction, I was not alone. Leading the way was one of the twins, followed by none other than pst. Kenneth himself. Stepping into the building, I felt no change nor revelation, the first thing that came to my mind was however, what's with the escalator? And on that we rode to the 2nd storey, where everything, not much, took place.

I'm not about to start a feminist movement but I sincerely feel for all the women that get the monthly cramps. The helplessness I felt with the wrenching pain that come and go in pulses cannot be accurately portrayed with words. The closest I can get is FUCKING PAIN!! I sat with Kenneth at what I can only assume to be the lounge, complete with sofas and cushions, a fus ball table which I trashed Kenneth at, some tables covered with mahjiong paper for any artistic relief by anyone, many people drew images of shit thinking it's amusing, it would have been if I was 7, and a counter that sells hotdogs and drinks.

There was much loitering around, exploring on my part as I walk through the few corridors and gaze into the many empty rooms filled with nothing. I wasn't looking for anything in particular but I guess I was secretly hoping to find some stowed away brain washing device, maybe on a smaller scale relative to the one owned by the City Harvest cult. As you should know by now, considering that I wrote it just a little while ago, that I have diarrea, I spent sometime in the toilet doing number 2. Kenneth had diarrea diarrhoea too so when he came in and announced that the people are praying in tongues, wasn't surprised, and that yixian forbid me to enter, not knowing that I was, at that time, busy making shit. It was early and I did what I do best, just to make my point, and did for them an ambigram that says "edge". Some ill informed people do not know what ambigrams are and that was corrected by none other than yours truely.

The service eventually started with quite an audience. They went straight into a song to begin with and another to go. The lead singer was this huge guy, form New Zealand I was told, which sang a little off key and was relatively flat on the higher register thus resulting in a couple of diminished 7th cords chords( do you seriously think I know what this is?) and making me cringe. I like the songs, really, but I felt it would have been very much better.

We first moved to the front to make faces at yixian hoping she would screw up but so sad for us, she didn't, not surprised since she can jump, sing and play the keyboard at the same time, amazing. We then proceeded to the back where I can not get killed if I laugh out loud.

Standing at the back, I was able to observe the rest of the crowd. You know the scenerio you see on TV with regards to rock concerts with the fans and audience singing along and jumping for no reason, pretty much the same as what I saw. Quite a number of them did weird things with their hands while singing along with their eyes closed. The weird hand gestures are apparently acts of prayer. I have not no visual feed so you'll have to rely on your imagination for the image I'm about to paint. With the same vivid explaination given to me by Kenneth, the hand gestures can be classified into 3 distinct styles.

1. The hands cupping Moses Lim's tits style. Palms facing up at slightly above waist level, held a little away from the body. This is the I-feel-tired-so-I'm-kinda-resting-my-hands-but-I'm -still-praying style.

2. The hands in the air pushing Moses Lim up a tonner style. Palms facing up as usual but this time above the head. Very enthusiastic, everyone come smell my B.O. style.

3. The retro finger pointing. I get the idea God likes to be pointed at him since some people do it a lot. It gets to you when someone de does the Elvis gig without songs like "Jailhouse Rock".

Like in a trance, they swayed with the music chanting occasionally, some even crying for no apparant reason. I had fun observing the weird actions of some people, average joes doing weird stunts thinking no one cares, no one cares really. Some look stupid. If I have a video camera on me, I'd have taken some Ebaum's world worthy vids of some really psychomotor psychomotor people.

The pastor was a great speaker. He's charismatic and engaging cracking jokes as he address us. I'm beginning to understand the appeal of such services and probably scratching the surface as to why the religion appeals to so many clueless people who follow blindly. There are elements of truth in what he says and the engaging nature of the service makes people feel comfortable. I did not find the answers I seek but for those who believe, it will make them continue to believe. As for me, there's really nothing much I can disagree with but I also noticed that when the words "Jesus" are replaced with the name of anyone else, the content of what was taught will not change. If you believe in "Jesus", or whatever name was put in place, it will strengthen your faith.