Need $$$
It's fustrating, being poor and all that shit. I hate it that I can't buy what I want, it's worst when I want everything! Damn you toy shops of the world! I'm in serious need of cash, staying in is working out fine but it's starting to feel like my spending is postponed to the weekends, not a good sign.
I'm in constant need of cash and constantly complaining about the lack of it doesn't help at all, in case you haven't already noticed. I need ANOTHER job. Geez. I've been thinking of various ways of making money actually, most of which would be branded with stupid or lame. See, I'm someone that doesn't like to do things I hate doing unless it involves volumes of cash or tits... or toys, yeah how can I leave that out? Quite a number of my friends give tuition to some random kids they chance upon somehow, it's cool and it's a virtually zero capital business venture, more often than not, a 10-year-series is all that's needed, which the kid buys(credited to Kenneth because I know he lives on credits.). I can teach tuition, if the said subject is something I can remember, something I do not have distorted views on, something I took in school. Seems pretty simple eh? Then why the hell is it that I can't seem to think of a suitable topic to make money from? Because I'm lazy. Ah! I see.
Then there are the kind of stuff normal people do not get tuition for. Stuff like art, computer stuff( this 2 words will pretty much sum up what most people know about the fascinating box with a screen that let's you play games, surf the net, and get to know psuedo girlfriends, read this, etc.), music, humour.
Now let's break this down, beginning with art. As much as I think art is cool, teaching it is not. Face it, art teachers are, more often than not, old farts that know shit about art. Children, we will paint something today. Stupid, the kids already know that. You can't teach art, parents who think sending their kids for art lessons will make their kids artistic should just stop! If your kid suck at art, no amount of lessons will make him good at it. Ultimately art, to me that is, I don't know about you, is about creativity and you can't learn how to create something that you haven't made yet. You can be taught techniques to improve your art allowing you to further express yourself through art but not art itself. Since I do not believe in teaching art, I can't TEACH it.
Alternatively, I can teach people how to use the scary omnipotent gizmo called the computer. Technically, everything with a microchip in it is a computer. A calculator is a computer, your washing machine is a computer, hell the handphone you can't live without is a computer. So when I say teach someone how to use a computer, I mean teaching someone how to use the operating system of a particular processing system more commonly known as the PC. If said person needs lessons, chances are the person is
1. Stupid
2. Old
3. Stupid
4. All of the above
It doesn't' take much of an idiot to use the computer, when you move the thing called the mouse, the arrow on screen is supposed to move, there's no tiny person in the monitor playing puppets or shadow games. When you can't get the computer to start, turn on the power switch. Your photoshop doesn't work because you have to install it first. You will not get hacked if you turn off your firewall, if a hacker wants to hack your computer, none of the firewalls you are using will do any good. No, computers do not come with porn. Do you even know what's a DNS is? Can you imagine how fustrated I will be if I ever get to this business? I'll spawn a hell lot of angry stupid people who refuse to believe they are stupid.
Then there's music, to narrow it down, I can probably teach some kids how to play the euphonium, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there. If I want to, I can teach the trombone, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there, since it's pretty much the same as the euphonium. In the worst case scenerio, I can teach the tuba, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there, since it's like a bigger less nicer sounding version of a euphonium, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there. Notice my fustration already? No? Stupid. Everything that makes a sound in the band, other than the drums, is called the saxophone, it's the only instrument in the band if you ask most people out there.
Finally I get to humour. I don't actually mean humour, you can't teach humour, some people are born boring, destined to rot in geek land playing scrabble and reading their all important self-help books. I should not have used the word humour in the first place, but I figured it'll get your attention as to how much of a pompus ass I am by thinking I'm funny. I'm not being sarcastic, this is how I talk.
There you have it, I can't teach anything. But that shouldn't stop you from seeking me out if you have cash to spare, afterall, nobody can teach if the student can't learn, so be nice and filter out the stupid people if you want me to be teaching anything.
There is however 1 thing I can do. I'll probably need help from Kenneth with this, which I think he will gladly agree to, and we'll split it 50:50. We offer the service known as "Mental Annihilation". We had a successful virgin project which ended really well for us so if you would like to do something similar to someone you hate, you can seek us out in private to discuss the details and be assured that your identity will be kept confidential from everyone that matters we will be bounded by non-disclosure laws.
Zhijun: Are you going to the bookdrop? (at Orchard Library)
Jude: yah.
Zhijun: Can I drop the books for you?
Jude: ... if it's that important to you sure...
As Zahid would say, "WTF man WTF!". He actually says "double-you tee aft".
Zhijun: I want to watch Starwars Episode 3 for Jar-jar.
I'm in constant need of cash and constantly complaining about the lack of it doesn't help at all, in case you haven't already noticed. I need ANOTHER job. Geez. I've been thinking of various ways of making money actually, most of which would be branded with stupid or lame. See, I'm someone that doesn't like to do things I hate doing unless it involves volumes of cash or tits... or toys, yeah how can I leave that out? Quite a number of my friends give tuition to some random kids they chance upon somehow, it's cool and it's a virtually zero capital business venture, more often than not, a 10-year-series is all that's needed, which the kid buys(credited to Kenneth because I know he lives on credits.). I can teach tuition, if the said subject is something I can remember, something I do not have distorted views on, something I took in school. Seems pretty simple eh? Then why the hell is it that I can't seem to think of a suitable topic to make money from? Because I'm lazy. Ah! I see.
Then there are the kind of stuff normal people do not get tuition for. Stuff like art, computer stuff( this 2 words will pretty much sum up what most people know about the fascinating box with a screen that let's you play games, surf the net, and get to know psuedo girlfriends, read this, etc.), music, humour.
Now let's break this down, beginning with art. As much as I think art is cool, teaching it is not. Face it, art teachers are, more often than not, old farts that know shit about art. Children, we will paint something today. Stupid, the kids already know that. You can't teach art, parents who think sending their kids for art lessons will make their kids artistic should just stop! If your kid suck at art, no amount of lessons will make him good at it. Ultimately art, to me that is, I don't know about you, is about creativity and you can't learn how to create something that you haven't made yet. You can be taught techniques to improve your art allowing you to further express yourself through art but not art itself. Since I do not believe in teaching art, I can't TEACH it.
Alternatively, I can teach people how to use the scary omnipotent gizmo called the computer. Technically, everything with a microchip in it is a computer. A calculator is a computer, your washing machine is a computer, hell the handphone you can't live without is a computer. So when I say teach someone how to use a computer, I mean teaching someone how to use the operating system of a particular processing system more commonly known as the PC. If said person needs lessons, chances are the person is
1. Stupid
2. Old
3. Stupid
4. All of the above
It doesn't' take much of an idiot to use the computer, when you move the thing called the mouse, the arrow on screen is supposed to move, there's no tiny person in the monitor playing puppets or shadow games. When you can't get the computer to start, turn on the power switch. Your photoshop doesn't work because you have to install it first. You will not get hacked if you turn off your firewall, if a hacker wants to hack your computer, none of the firewalls you are using will do any good. No, computers do not come with porn. Do you even know what's a DNS is? Can you imagine how fustrated I will be if I ever get to this business? I'll spawn a hell lot of angry stupid people who refuse to believe they are stupid.
Then there's music, to narrow it down, I can probably teach some kids how to play the euphonium, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there. If I want to, I can teach the trombone, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there, since it's pretty much the same as the euphonium. In the worst case scenerio, I can teach the tuba, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there, since it's like a bigger less nicer sounding version of a euphonium, more commonly known as the saxophone to a lot of people out there. Notice my fustration already? No? Stupid. Everything that makes a sound in the band, other than the drums, is called the saxophone, it's the only instrument in the band if you ask most people out there.
Finally I get to humour. I don't actually mean humour, you can't teach humour, some people are born boring, destined to rot in geek land playing scrabble and reading their all important self-help books. I should not have used the word humour in the first place, but I figured it'll get your attention as to how much of a pompus ass I am by thinking I'm funny. I'm not being sarcastic, this is how I talk.
There you have it, I can't teach anything. But that shouldn't stop you from seeking me out if you have cash to spare, afterall, nobody can teach if the student can't learn, so be nice and filter out the stupid people if you want me to be teaching anything.
There is however 1 thing I can do. I'll probably need help from Kenneth with this, which I think he will gladly agree to, and we'll split it 50:50. We offer the service known as "Mental Annihilation". We had a successful virgin project which ended really well for us so if you would like to do something similar to someone you hate, you can seek us out in private to discuss the details and be assured that your identity will be kept confidential from everyone that matters we will be bounded by non-disclosure laws.
Zhijun: Are you going to the bookdrop? (at Orchard Library)
Jude: yah.
Zhijun: Can I drop the books for you?
Jude: ... if it's that important to you sure...
As Zahid would say, "WTF man WTF!". He actually says "double-you tee aft".
Zhijun: I want to watch Starwars Episode 3 for Jar-jar.
BY Neo :: 12:22 AM
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