memory
I hate it when I'm bored, my mind wanders, it makes me think and when that happens, I remember.
Remembering is never good for me, it either means I realise there's something I forgot, or I recalled something I don't want to remember.
I mean face it, who reminisces in their happy memories when they're bored? That's just fucking psychotic! To dwell in the happiness of the past is just plain fucking stupid, it's not called the past for no reason, it will NEVER come back. I can never understand how some people can say crap like "I've been there, that alone is enough." So what if you've "been there", what does it change? If you really like "there" so much, how is it that just being there before is enough? It's all self-fucking-comfort. All the trouble to make up a few lame excuses to make yourself feel better, to justify what should not and can never be justified. Nothing. That's all that is left. All that matters. Nothing. The world is real, time is a constant and it will never stop. We can only look to the future, perhaps some people realise that more, perhaps that's all they see, nothing in the past matters. If that's the case, the so called butterfly effect should not exist, there's no cause and effect since everything is just another event. Perhaps life is just a cascade of events rather than a build up of cause and effect. You did something hence something else is happening, cause and effect? Maybe. What about those times when you did nothing and still something is happening? How does cause and effect explain that? BUt everything falls in place with the event theory. With everything as another independent event, everything can be explained. But what about consequence? What about consequence? Isn't it just another event?
Amazing how much I can stray eh? Back to being bored and how it makes me remember. Perhaps bored is just another word for lonely. To have nothing to do. Perhaps I'm just lonely. I'm just lonely. I'm lonely. Why? This brings me to a time about 2 years ago and a little something I wrote back then.
The way things were.
The constant droning
The hateful swearing
The painful longing
For the past I feel
The things I’ve lost
The things I want back
The past is gone
This void I feel
I’m twisted
I’m warped
I’m myself no more
I hate things the way they are
So much I long for what I’ve lost
So hurt I feel whenever I remember
So desperate I am to feel again
What once was mine but never again
I pray for the past
I want it back
I want the way things were back then
But that I know can never be
For everyone’s moved on but me
I originally posted that on my deviantart gallery. The original post can be found here
This is probably THE most serious article to grace this "blog". Kind of a phase shift in mood here. The sudden heavy atmosphere making the black theme suddenly fitting.
Remembering is never good for me, it either means I realise there's something I forgot, or I recalled something I don't want to remember.
I mean face it, who reminisces in their happy memories when they're bored? That's just fucking psychotic! To dwell in the happiness of the past is just plain fucking stupid, it's not called the past for no reason, it will NEVER come back. I can never understand how some people can say crap like "I've been there, that alone is enough." So what if you've "been there", what does it change? If you really like "there" so much, how is it that just being there before is enough? It's all self-fucking-comfort. All the trouble to make up a few lame excuses to make yourself feel better, to justify what should not and can never be justified. Nothing. That's all that is left. All that matters. Nothing. The world is real, time is a constant and it will never stop. We can only look to the future, perhaps some people realise that more, perhaps that's all they see, nothing in the past matters. If that's the case, the so called butterfly effect should not exist, there's no cause and effect since everything is just another event. Perhaps life is just a cascade of events rather than a build up of cause and effect. You did something hence something else is happening, cause and effect? Maybe. What about those times when you did nothing and still something is happening? How does cause and effect explain that? BUt everything falls in place with the event theory. With everything as another independent event, everything can be explained. But what about consequence? What about consequence? Isn't it just another event?
Amazing how much I can stray eh? Back to being bored and how it makes me remember. Perhaps bored is just another word for lonely. To have nothing to do. Perhaps I'm just lonely. I'm just lonely. I'm lonely. Why? This brings me to a time about 2 years ago and a little something I wrote back then.
The constant droning
The hateful swearing
The painful longing
For the past I feel
The things I’ve lost
The things I want back
The past is gone
This void I feel
I’m twisted
I’m warped
I’m myself no more
I hate things the way they are
So much I long for what I’ve lost
So hurt I feel whenever I remember
So desperate I am to feel again
What once was mine but never again
I pray for the past
I want it back
I want the way things were back then
But that I know can never be
For everyone’s moved on but me
I originally posted that on my deviantart gallery. The original post can be found here
This is probably THE most serious article to grace this "blog". Kind of a phase shift in mood here. The sudden heavy atmosphere making the black theme suddenly fitting.
1 Comments:
"I'm just lonely, I'm lonely".
Play Bioshock.
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