I will do ___ for you.
It's officially 5 days after pay day and I have about 25 more days before my next paycheck comes in. To say that I spend too much is an understatement, I spend too fucking much for anyone's good. I spent close to a hundred on payday itself buying another 512MB of RAM for my PC and a condom for my Shuffle, then it took no more than 3 days for me to dive into another huge purchase, I spent 70 bucks on a Model Kit. Can you blame me? It's the Freedom MASTER GRADE! It's THE MODEL KIT! So I'm guessing you can safely conclude that I DO NOT and is unfortunately UNABLE to NOT SPEND TOO MUCH. It's a disease I tell you, to be overcome by the desire for material so much that it deludes my foresight! I do not see myself having MONEY for the rest of the month! It's that bad.
So here's my, probably futile, attempt to put my foot down on spending less.
1. I'll stay in and have instant noodles for dinner, and probably kill myself in the process.
2. Bring to camp a bulk of my X-box games to keep myself IN CAMP.
3. Bring blades, paints, brushes, sprays, stuff that gets Thomas high, to fix my MASTER GRADE in camp.
4. Lower the number of cups of tea I buy a day to 1 or 2. Might not seem like much but I drink a LOT of caffine.
Well, that's about it, chances are I will STILL be spending too much so knowing the perfect me, I have my back-up plans. I will volunteer to do stuff FOR YOU! Yes you got that right, for a limited time only I, me! watashi! will do stuff for you! You are required to come look for me when you want whatever stuff done. So here goes.
I will SPEND YOUR MONEY for you. Simple eh? YOu have too much cash to spare so you hire me to spend it on myself! Simple perfect solution.
I will BE THE PASSENGER IN YOUR CAR! You get to have me in you car while you chauffeur me around! How cool is that?
I will EAT YOUR MEALS. That's right! You can have all the kick-ass left overs when I'm done with the good stuff. It's a great way for you to slim down and savour every bit of my bastard nature!
I will CHARGE YOU FOR READING THIS! Now this has got to rock! If you are reading this, you'd have crossed the hundred word free trial read limit and for that I'll be charging you an unreasonable, to you, yet highly profitable, to me, amount! The bill I'll attached at the bottom of this page and for a limited time only, you will NOT be charged for reading the words in the bill! Now is that a deal or what?
I will GAMBLE WITH YOU in a game "YUANQIN ALWAYS WINS!" With a minimum bet of $50, I will soon have EVERYTHING you own! kick ass!
Finally, I will TAX you for reading. In my text, I rule and my texts says that the TAXES here are no more than 359% I can assure you that no where ELSE in the world can you find such high taxes, it's exclusive to here and that's what makes it kicks so much ass!
The Bill
Total Words: 569
Free Words: 100
Payable Words: 469
Taxes(359%): 2000, rounded up next closest thousand.
To pay: $1234.50 (wow! this IS unexpected.)
To tip: $5432.10
Bill is free.
So here's my, probably futile, attempt to put my foot down on spending less.
1. I'll stay in and have instant noodles for dinner, and probably kill myself in the process.
2. Bring to camp a bulk of my X-box games to keep myself IN CAMP.
3. Bring blades, paints, brushes, sprays, stuff that gets Thomas high, to fix my MASTER GRADE in camp.
4. Lower the number of cups of tea I buy a day to 1 or 2. Might not seem like much but I drink a LOT of caffine.
Well, that's about it, chances are I will STILL be spending too much so knowing the perfect me, I have my back-up plans. I will volunteer to do stuff FOR YOU! Yes you got that right, for a limited time only I, me! watashi! will do stuff for you! You are required to come look for me when you want whatever stuff done. So here goes.
I will SPEND YOUR MONEY for you. Simple eh? YOu have too much cash to spare so you hire me to spend it on myself! Simple perfect solution.
I will BE THE PASSENGER IN YOUR CAR! You get to have me in you car while you chauffeur me around! How cool is that?
I will EAT YOUR MEALS. That's right! You can have all the kick-ass left overs when I'm done with the good stuff. It's a great way for you to slim down and savour every bit of my bastard nature!
I will CHARGE YOU FOR READING THIS! Now this has got to rock! If you are reading this, you'd have crossed the hundred word free trial read limit and for that I'll be charging you an unreasonable, to you, yet highly profitable, to me, amount! The bill I'll attached at the bottom of this page and for a limited time only, you will NOT be charged for reading the words in the bill! Now is that a deal or what?
I will GAMBLE WITH YOU in a game "YUANQIN ALWAYS WINS!" With a minimum bet of $50, I will soon have EVERYTHING you own! kick ass!
Finally, I will TAX you for reading. In my text, I rule and my texts says that the TAXES here are no more than 359% I can assure you that no where ELSE in the world can you find such high taxes, it's exclusive to here and that's what makes it kicks so much ass!
The Bill
Total Words: 569
Free Words: 100
Payable Words: 469
Taxes(359%): 2000, rounded up next closest thousand.
To pay: $1234.50 (wow! this IS unexpected.)
To tip: $5432.10
Bill is free.
BY Neo :: 5:37 PM
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